Finding Strength

Written By;

Kimberly Meibos

Today I felt the need to talk about finding strength in difficult times. Being one of many people who have suffered from depression and anxiety on top of a incurable disease I tell you it has been nothing but one of the biggest roller-coasters I've ever been on.

I have had anxiety my whole life since I can remember. I would get awful stomach aches and be terrified of going to school and I felt like the biggest outcast. I grew out of the stomach aches after a year but I tell you It wasnt ever easy when you have a mess of a life.

Being a kid that got bullied in elementary wasnt easy either, man nothing is easy not even our very own trials but what do you do to get through it?

For me when I got sick I had to really find ways to make me feel better. If that meant finding a hobby or just taking a walk to enjoy nature to make me feel a little better I made sure to do it. We all have struggles and go through hardships but its what we learn and how we get through it that matters.

I have cried countless times, ask many many people for advise and looked for ways to heal out of the normal western ways because I wanted to have a good life. I strive every single day to make sure I can function like a normal person, and to be able to be strong enough for my children because If I'm down then they are down and its not fair to them to have to suffer with me.

the one thing that gets me through my hard times is my husband.
he makes me laugh and makes sure I laugh at least once or twice during the day. laughter is so good for the brain.
I also try to find things less stressful like my garden or taking a hot epsom salt bath.
I turn to God for help and understanding. I also look for ways to help others anyway that I can. Its a rewarding feeling being able to put a smile on someone elses face.

remember that you arent alone. when we are going through something hard we get stuck thinking how bad it is and really we need the reminder that we arent the only ones that are going through trials. its sucks to think there are more people like me but at the same time we learn to lean on each other for support and help. what works for some might just work for others so we have to help each other out. Be positive, have faith and hope for a better day, and find positive affirmations to say out loud every day. Never give up even when you feel like you are alone and even when you feel like no one cares because There is always someone. You are ok to reach out and ask for help.
There is help and dont give up.

There have been many times when I have sat and wondered what I was going to do if I got sicker and then I had to realize I'am very fortunate to be here and have been able to have my life, family, friends and good and bad experiences because I have learned so much. I wouldnt trade my life for anything because I love my family. We cant escape what we are meant to go through so we must learn from it and move forward.

Keep your head up and keep moving forward. find what makes you happy and do that! Look outside the box.

If you find spirituality or you find something you are good at and it makes you happy, find a way to do that often. You are important in this life and you deserve to be happy.

Have a good night.
love Kim

Mother's Day

Mother's Day 2017

What does Mother's Day mean to you?

A few years ago I had to have a Hysterectomy and after that I hated Mother's Day. It broke my heart because not only did I want more kids but Mother's Day was two days after I had it done and I was absolutely miserable.

Oh but did I get spoiled by my children and husband. I was experiencing so many emotions at the time but still the love of my family never failed. 

I havent had my mom around much either and to me that was really hard to want to celebrate Mother's Day. 

Well this year I had to dig down and really think about what it means to celebrate Mother's Day. Why do we do it and what does it really mean? what am I going to get out of only being noticed one day out of the whole year? A LOT!!!

What an Honor it is to have a day to be able to say I am raising or raised my children!

I gave Birth to this baby, I held you inside me where I kept you safe from the dangers of this world for a short time. 

How amazing it is to be able to have held you, even if it was a short while before you returned to Heavenly Father. What a blessing your children are to your life.

I carried you

I held you 

I clothed you 

fed you

worried for you

cried for you

stayed up late nights for you

used myself to nourish your little growing body

I adopted you

I raised you

I have cleaned your face

I have tucked you in at night

I have laid there dreaming of what you are going to be or what you would have been

I have laughed with you 

Made funny faces with you

been in pain for you.

No matter what I will love my children because they are a blessing. The ones I have here and The ones I have lost. 

Being a mother is so important. Us mothers can be so hard on ourselves because sometimes at least I know I have felt this way but Sometimes I feel inadequate. I see other moms and I think "Man I need to be more like her or do what she does." then I realize that is so unrealistic. We wouldnt learn from each other if we were all the same. Each of us moms have something different to offer and that is an amazing thing. None of us are better nor are we worse but we have all been through something different and have been raised different and that is something that we need to realize. We all have so much to learn from each other and need to remember that we are remarkable and we are doing a good job!

Even though we only celebrate the one day out of the whole year it never hurts to show your grateful for your hard work and your mothers hard work throughout the year. make some brownies, give some flowers, give a home made card, or call and say Thank You! If your mother is passed send a prayer or visit the grave site and if you are to far away send a good thought or balloon message. It feels good to be told as a mother that you are doing a good job. You have been through SO much and remember how special you are.

this is my first year to enjoy Mother's Day and I hope you all know how important you are and how special you are. 

I'am Blessed to be their Mother and to be the daughter of a good Mother!

We are more than we know!

May 7, 2017

The words spoke to me today will be forever in my heart and ones I will write down. Thank you to all the ones I know and those of you that I don't for uplifting my heart and soul with your sweet words. I'm especially grateful for the outreach of arms and the comfort, and kindness you have all given me. I never thought in a million years that my words would speak to others the way the actual experience spoke to me. God lives and I am living proof because I listened to the spirit when I was told to, and it saved my life. I thought I was going to die Thursday night and said my goodbyes to my husband and told him my love for him and his hard work and gratitude and love for me, and saving me 11 years ago! I'm grateful god gave me another chance to live and tell my story!

Thank you to my friends and family that have given support and have taught me many things over the coarse of my life. When you are on the floor shaking and in shock from infection do you then realize how precious life really is. We take far to much for granted every single day. Love others, be open to understanding others situations and never for a second feel small because you are a spirit child of our Heavenly Father and you have a special gift about you that helps others without even knowing it. Depression and anxiety are real but so many suffer and don't feel good enough and I assure you that you are of worth and every breath you take is one to share a message to help someone heal. God doesn't want us to live in our comfort zone because we don't grow that way. Share your struggles, share how you get through them and help someone in need. This world needs more human interaction and positivity. Be a lending hand and don't let you time here be wasteful. LOVE YOU!!

Getting septic at womens conference.

Lyme Disease awareness month

BYU Womens Conference 2017

My Experience

Written by Kimberly Meibos

5/3/17-5/6/17

Battle Creek Falls, Pleasant Grove Utah

This weekend was just like any others, I was so excited to go with my family to the early BYU Womens Conference because there is so much to get out of it to better your life or to help you have a better understanding of your own situations. 

My favorite part of it all is just being around everyone because I dont see them near enough and I love their personalities and the good vibes they all give off. I learn something about each of them every time Im with them. 

So lets start from the beginning.

Wednsday night I got dropped of at my husbands moms house to get a ride down with his sisters to their aunts house to stay for the next two days. we loaded up my suit case and on the way down picked up a few more family members on the way down. we were in a car full of girls all excited to be having the time alone for the one time through the year ha ha. we stopped and got snacks that we could actually eat without out kids asking "Mom I want Some!" not that we wouldn't share but its nice to enjoy a bag of goodies without the extra hands reaching out for more ha ha .

We had to make one stop to drop of out clothes and cots to the house and then off we went on a hike.

We all got changed into out hiking gear and set off to Pleasant Grove to the Battle Creek Falls. The hike was a good one, some spots were easier than other till you got to the falls and they had rubber mats to help you get up to the fall because it was so steep. its about a half mile into the canyon. I personally was so excited because being outdoors is so much therapy to me. I would rather be out there than anywhere else. the picture above is at a fallen tree that was up on the hike.

I wanted to do this hike so bad and a little part of me was hesitant because I was really light headed and my heart had been racing. (I had a stomach bug day prior to this event)  when I get sick It hits straight to my heart.

I was determined though. I took small deep breaths and took my time getting up there. There were a lot of people up there this time. The weather was amazing so I could see why. we passed a few groups and on the way a couple passed and I had asked if I could pet there dog. Somehow we got on the topic of me having Lyme and the lady said her really good friend has Lyme disease and asked me all these questions about it and I loved answering. I love the conversation as we took the hike together. it got my mind off the fact that I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. Wonderful open minded people that understand you illness are THE BEST people to talk to because they have seen the pain and suffering from another. They gave me props for making the hike and that they were so proud of me and that made my heart smolder. they were truly a wonderful couple and if I ever see you again Just know I will be giving you a hug. They talked me up the steepest part of the mountain to the first fall and It was awesome!!

Kaycee Mcfarland and Morgan Hancock

I love these girls.

It was so beautiful up there and Im so glad that I was able to participate in it. I got some time alone and It was so nice. I like the quite that why im alone above. 

After we all finished the hike we went out to a Mexican food restaurant and I got all my sweet family to Take A Bite Out Of Lyme for me. (pictured below) 

Seeing all the Support made me teary. I cry because me and my husband dont have support like 99.9% of the time so to see them all doing this for US was HUGE on my heart. It makes a world of difference to have family backing you with everything and helping you along the way. these ladies are the best to have around. also while waiting for food my sweet best friend text me and I needed this. (picture below)

Heather Berni (aka) Best Friend

I love her and I love that she would do this for me. You guys when you have a best friend that makes you smile and cares for you, keep her!!! K!

After dinner we were all tuckered out because it was like 11pm and we all were pooped from the hike. We got back to my Mother in laws sisters house where we were staying those two days and they were up till 1 ha ha No sleep for these women but I did do some Yoga with them for like five minutes because I was so tired and wanted to sleep lol. 

I woke up in the middle of the night and crashed in a empty room on the floor and probably got about 3 hours total of sleep. which was definitely not enough but I was excited and ready to go enjoy the day. 

We all got up and got ready to go and had a wonderful breakfast which I wish I could have everyday! Crista I need your recipes lol. 

Also thanks for lending your home for us!

Then we SET OFF to good ol Womens Conference!! P.S. riding with these women is the funnest rides beacuse we all tell stories and can just laugh.

laughter is the cure for a lot of things ha ha.

We got in for the first session and we listen to Sister Sharon Eubank and She is so wonderful and I loved all the pictures she had because I am a very spiritual person.

I especially needed to be here for this because this year the conference was "Converted unto the Lord" 3 Nephi 28:23

I'm a Convert to The LDS church and I have had some struggles with the world lately and I needed to be there this year so I feel especially grateful for Justin's mom to invite me. 

After the first two sessions I went to a Class on Mental health for people with anxiety and Deression which I have suffered from since I was a child so that Class was one I really want to be there for. Boy was I completely shocked at how that talk spoke to me. 

(Story Below)

I just listened to a talk here at women's conference called "Like a broken vessel"

This talk was about mental health issues, and for people who suffer or know someone that suffers with depression and anxiety. Where I'm a sufferer of both I decided that was the talk I wanted to hear. At first with the first speaker the talk didn't sing to my soul like I was hoping this talk would. Not that she didn't deliver a wonderful talk but it wasn't giving me the spirit I wanted to fill at that moment.

The next speaker is what got me the most.

Her name is Josie Solomon and as soon as she opened her mouth my ear started singing. She just had the gift to speak and was just loud enough to keep my attention. She spoke of her struggles and her anguish with darkness and how it has affected her the last nine years. It has stopped her from being able to fulfill a mission, she can't work, she had to drop out of school and finally when she married her story hit me so hard I was weeping uncontrollably in my seat. They moved here from Arizona and when they bought their home they had significant damage done to their home from sewage ruining their kitchen and bathroom and shortly after found mold which put her out of living at home because of her illness. Till her home was rid of mold she lived in a hotel. She rarely can get to church and can barely make it through sacrament (like myself) does her story sound familiar?
As she went on she spoke of how her illness isn't a curse, but a blessing to be able to help others till she is able to be healed herself. After hearing her wonderful words I knew that with what she went and is going through and my current situation that I needed to meet her and tell her thank you and let her know " I know EXACTLY what she is going through!" Literally on ever aspect of her story was me!!!

I met her and I hugged her and just bawled my little eyes out and told her I have Lyme disease........... she looked me dead in the eyes and said "ME TOO!"

Not only did her story touch my heart but we literally have the same exact trials at this moment. It was the best talk and the best person to meet at this time in my life because I want to do what she is doing and help others!!! I know the darkness she speaks of because I've lived it for two years. Her talk helped restore my faith and that I can get through it. I do envy her in a good way because she is able to receive treatments and I'm extremely jealous but so happy to see she is getting help. No one deserves to live like this.

Thank you Josie again for your wonderful speech and touching not only my heart but the hundreds that were with me!
#lymediseaseawarenessmonth #lymesucks #miraclecouple #warrior

After that talk I got really really sick. I had been fighting a bug the few days before the conference and I never got a chance to recover from that . All tha walking and sitting and fighting my own emotions It got to be to much especially when I didnt sleep well the night before.

I went and got me lunch and called my husband and took a small break before the afternoon session and that was needed. I sat and pet a service dog and visited with the gal for a bit and that was really nice to do. 

 after that I walked up to the afternoon session and then It started to hit fast. I got really dizzy, and nauseated, We all got together and walked across campus to the Smith field house to do Service. One of our favorite things to do there. this year it was putting backpacks together for school kids with towels, shampoo, tooth pastes, notebooks, deodorant, ect. The church does so much for so many people its absolutely AMAZING!!

I helped with a few bags and then I had to listen to my body and go lay down. I wrnt and laid down just outside the building in the sun which felt amazing to do. I tried to relax but it felt like my body was just buzzing with vibrations. my hands started twitching and I knew then The lyme was attacking my Nervous system. I over did it and i knew I did but for two days I just wanted to be like everyone else and do all the normal stuff. Then i had to remember I'm just not normal but its "OK" because we all have different trials.

This felt Amazing 

After this we walked up to the Marriot center to get in line for the concert ( another favorite) I love music. Well I got the strong erge to go to the EMS (emergency medical station) in the Marriot to have my blood pressure taken and it was high for my little body 127/69 and my heart was not a happy camper. I was having several PVC's sitting there so they called in the ambulance to have then come run a Ekg because my heart rate was 118ish . Thanks heart =) ha ha well the emt gave me four baby asprin and I said " if anyone pokes me im going to bleed to death!" and we just laughed about it.

The paramedic told me I needed to head on over to the hospital and have the dr check me out. He offered to drive but I told him no. Thats a $2,000 Ride with a cute paramedic and I didnt want any part of it ha ha ha all humor I am just so you know!! so my husbands mom took me and when we got there I told the nurse they gave me asprin so to be careful lol and what did he do ??? Shot blood on the bed and down my arm and we just laughed because like i said before about the emt about being poked lol. I told them I need potassium and my kidneys check out . he agreed because i know my body well enough to just say hey this is whats wrong. Im never wrong when it comes to my body. The dr on the second hand didnt like that at all and i could tell. When I said I have Lyme he completely Discredited it and Told me no even with my proof of it .... it made me angry. Either way I know me, and my body and I wasnt having it. 

i got my blood work done and sure enough my potassium was low and I was peeing WAY more blood than my last UA. RBC 10-20 WBC 2-5 Epithilial cells and ketones ect .. I had already been on an antibiotic for my kidneys and it didnt help at all .. so there I was hiking and walking and sitiing through all that with a HUGE kidney infection still and the virus ontop of it all. boy ... what was I thinking ? lol 

my husband got there just in time to take me home. I got some potassium and a script for antibiotics and went on my merry way to get my things from Christas and went home.

arriving home was nice but I got sicker and sicker as the night went on. I couldnt walk, I fell tot he floor and started going into shock. I felt NO pain... some people would say thats good news but not when you are sick. that meant I needed a dr asap. well I got to the couch and passed out .. I dont remember getting there or laying down. I just remember waking up in a full blown panic from my hear beating so fast. Justin woke up the kids and hopped on over to the local ER.

I felt terrible but at least I got to watch Ancient Aliens which Is my all time favorite show. I want to get the whole package with all the seasons in it one day.

they gave me some meds and that helped my heart to relax a lot and some fluids and said I really needed to get some rest and let my body recover. to I relaxed there for a bit and got a CT done on my stomach which shown that I passed all four of my stones as well. UGH.... That sucks but is good news and thats a different pain in itself. but I always hurt so i didnt even notice except one time because the blood and it was a sharp pain last month. I went home and slept 12 hours. I havent done that it years. I feel groggy and sad because I missed the rest of womens conference. Im glad i got what i needed from it though.  

(He is glad I'am home)

Have you ever heard the term of  "I feel like I'm dying?" I felt that way and like everything was shutting down. I told my husband that If i died in my sleep because of my heart you just know how much I love you ALWAYS!! I love my children so much but you never know when your time will come. 

He kept a good watch on my while I slept and just said my breathing was really really shallow but he watched me. I feel like things will slowly get better from here I just need to have the faith. I love my friends and family for being by my side especially on my husbands side of the family. They have been a huge backbone for us. I am a Fighter and I wont give up unless God needs me.

I love you all and thank you for all the help and support. please dont forget to share our links to help us raise the money for treatments. It is so very much needed at this time especially where Im sick. Please guide people to my blog. I love sharing experiences and anything I can to give other hope!!

With love, Kim Meibos

https://www.gofundme.com/kim-justins-lyme-treatment

Lyme awareness month

May Is Lyme Awareness Month

Written by Kimberly Meibos

5/2/17

This month is all about sharing with others the true hardships behind having this disease and being a huge supporter to those you know that are suffering.

Never in a million years did I think I would ever get sick, But there is a plan. This plan is a hard one because the expense to treat lyme disease is one that cant be afforded at the moment with me not working. I have had two treatments and felt a world of difference in just my brain fog in the first day. I thought that was wonderful. After I drove home I was sicker than a dog with dizziness and nausea that subsided the next day with rest. the treatments were a few hours long  because they clean the blood and then you use the Vitamin C concoction through IV. 

Lots of people have had several treatments using antibiotics which is ok in the very first stages but when it becomes Chronic the antibiotics wont be able to get through the biofilm. so I was taught. 

I see a very wonderful clinic up in Pocatello, Idaho called the West clinic and Dr. Jason West is fabulous. The staff there is amazing and I cant wait to go back.

http://www.westcliniconline.com/

There are hundreds of thousands of people and children that go un-diagnosed or misdiagnosed every year. We need to raise awareness so the testing for lyme disease get better and the treatments to be more affordable. So many talented people that have good hearts go throught life without showing their full potential because of how debilitating this disease is. Five years ago I was 100% bed ridden but with a little help in the right direction I have slowly been able to do more and more. My wish is that me and my husband get the treatments we need. Not only is it hard for our kids to have one parent sick but to have both parents sick. Please be more understanding and fight for answers. I was diagnosed with MS, Fibromyalgia, And Chronic Fatigue before my true diagnosis with Lyme. Dont Give Up!!!

Help us fight back!! Click the link to the right to donate. We appreciate all the help we can get.